First of all, I have abandoned this blog for too long. And it's almost June 2016 and I am writing about something that I was supposed to write in the end of 2015 or early 2016.
TWO THOUSAND FIFTEEN
Was the year of my personal 'glory'
Was the year of my personal accomplishment.
Was the year of..........
(hehehehe)
I just feel that 2015 was unforgettable. The experiences, the accomplishment.
It was a beginning of a journey
but I'm still trying to figure out what journey it is but I know that it is a life-long journey.
In 2014, I decided to take Form 6, Science stream. My reasons were:
- I was interested in being an airline pilot but I couldn't afford the fees for airline pilot training and I believed that if I graduated Form 6 in Science stream I could take Bachelor's degree in aeronautical engineering and afford the fees for airline pilot training in the future.
- Science is considered as the most superior, intelligent and brilliant course or field by many people and I was trying to please and impress these people, the society.
- It was short, only 1 and a half year.
- If I graduated, I could do my Bachelor's degree overseas.
I was 1 week late for Form 6 registration. There was a teacher who took a look at my results. She said that, judging by my SPM results, especially my Additional Mathematics grade, I shouldn't take Science stream. I told her that I was just lazy and not serious for my studies before, hence the results. I told her I would study really hard to pass Form 6.
I failed 3 papers in the first semester / term. My pointer was 0.67. Yeah of course, I said to myself "Yuliana, you were just being lazy again". Actually, it was true. I didn't study much. Almost no effort from myself. I was just forced by my parents to study. And large amount of money has been used to pay the teachers or tutors coming to my house or somewhere else to teach me the things that I have missed.
I realized, I wasn't at all interested in what I was doing. I wasn't interested in Science stream. It was just all because of the outcome that I wished: being an airline pilot. The passion of being an airline pilot was just temporary. Well, I still dream to fly a plane but only want a PPL and not to be an airline pilot. Also, it was all because of my desire to please the society.
I decided to quit Form 6 in the middle of Term 2, in March 2015. I have wasted 10 months of my life in something that just isn't for me.
I applied for a number of diploma courses in Malaysian government university. In April 2015, I was called for an interview for a diploma programme in UiTM. My mother helped me a lot before the interview, She printed out the materials for the interviews and prayed for my success. I answered the interviewers' questions with ease. The interview went smooth. It was like a chit-chat. In May, I received the news that I passed the interview. What a success.
In June 2015, I entered UiTM. 2015 was also the first year for me to separate from my parents, to live independently without them looking after me. They were no longer there for me to force or pressure me to study. I had to do it by myself. I stayed up. I burned the midnight oil. The decisions were all mine. My favorite subject in the fist semester was Sociology. My first semester result was great. I did it by myself. No one pressured me. It is an accomplishment that I will never forget.
Quitting Form 6 was my best decision ever.
2015 was also the first year that I went out with friends. June 11, 2015. This was the day that I will never forget. Before this I only went out with my parents and extended family and I really meant it. This was the year that I started socializing with a lot of people. Before this, I was alone. After going back from school, I was just alone at home until my parents returned home from work. 2015 was also the year that I started finding out and building my identity (in terms of style) influenced by my acts of socializing and observations of others.
2015 was a beginning of my journey of something.
