It's been 6 years since I was active and passionate in writing here on this blog. I did write one or two posts a few years ago but I decided to delete them because I just hated them.
So where have I been?
I started doing my Diploma in 2015 and after finishing my Diploma in early 2018, I started doing my Bachelor's Degree in the same year and I am still a Degree student (I read Law). I still had time to write but my passion in writing died. I tried to conjure up the passion a few times by re-visiting my blog but it ended with failure. Every time I came to my blog hoping to love writing again, I ended up not knowing what to write. I just stared blankly at my laptop screen, or sometimes I spent hours and hours on re-designing my blog.
Looking back at my 6-year-old blog posts, I was so articulate and thoughtful. I couldn't believe I was so fierce in expressing my thoughts. I miss my 18-year-old self. Now I am 24 years old. I am feeling dumb and even insecure with my 18-year-old self.
In 2019, one of my new year's resolution was to start blogging again and that was also a promise I made to myself. But of course, I broke my words.
In late 2019, I took a special leave (one semester off) from my university due to Major Depressive Disorder (will write about this soon, this is going to be a long story). At the same time, I wanted a MacBook so I decided to have a part time job to save up to buy a MacBook. And I promised to myself again that when I finally got the MacBook, I would start blogging again. I hated the laptop that I used to have. The display quality and resolution are horrendous, the laptop itself is huge and bulky as hell, no backlit keyboard so I can't fucking type in the dark. The old laptop that I had kinda intensified my lack of passion in blogging. Now the MacBook is here, I am so happy to finally get to buy something I worked really hard for. I have always wanted a MacBook since I was a kid but I didn't care much. However, since entering Degree life, I have seen quite a number of my coursemates have MacBooks. This made me want a MacBook so bad. I felt so terrible of myself seeing people around me having things that I had been dreaming of but I did not have them. And yeah, I am happy to say that the passion in writing is 'resurrected' thanks to this MacBook Air 2020 that I worked so hard for.
By the way, I won't be only blogging about serious stuffs. I will write whatever I want, be it my personal stuffs, or thoughts on issues.
See you soon.
